IS THIS GOOD ENOUGH?

Playing my clarinet professionally is very different from playing in a volunteer, mostly amateur church orchestra, and God has taught me a whole lot about myself and Him through all of it. Professionally, if you make a mistake it could cost you a job. That's not the case in our church orchestra of course, but it's hard not to import a professional mindset into the sanctuary. Questions arise like, "Does God accept and enjoy our playing if there are mistakes?" I was thinking about that a couple Sundays ago while I was playing in the service. Then I started thinking about the people in the congregation and how they were singing. A typical congregation in a typical church is not the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir. Does God accept their praise? "Of course!" I thought. That's when conviction came and God was able to teach me a little more about myself and Him. At the foundational level, there is pride at work in my heart. The perfectionist mindset is a lie. The lie goes like this, "Unless you (or your performance) are perfect you are not acceptable." Actually, I think this is a half-lie the enemy loves to tell. The whole purpose of God giving the Law was to show us that our attempts to live a holy life were not acceptable, not good enough. But if you stop there, you are left with utter desolation. Turn the coin over and look at the amazing grace of what God has done with our desolation and depravity - "God demonstrates His own love in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8.

So God is omnisciently aware of all our shortcomings, mistakes....sins. He Himself has provided an answer, a path of salvation. And if God didn't turn His back on us in our sin, why would He turn His back on us when we offer Him our heartfelt, albeit imperfect, praise?

"But Thou art holy, O Thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel." Psalm 22:3

"Sing for joy in the Lord, O you righteous ones; praise is becoming to the upright." Psalm 33:1

GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF WHAT IS HIS

I've been struggling a little emotionally and spiritually with these first couple days of school. It seems the enemy has come at me with the same old strategies. I'm going to mess the kids up. I'm not doing enough. Our kids won't know what they're supposed to know. Etc, etc, etc. So I've been sharpening the sword and lifting the shield of faith ruthlessly the last two days. But victory is not instantaneous. I'll compare it to the scene in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe where they push their way through the coats. It's hot and stuffy and you're not sure where you're going. You pray and fight for faith and the right affections just aren't following. Then the Lord in His grace gives you some light and you're in the bright, clean air just like first entering the cold crispness of Narnia. This morning this happened to me when I read the first chapter of 1 Samuel. Hannah promises to give Samuel up when she has weaned him. I'm sure she knows what kind of father Eli has been since she has gone up to the temple with her husband year after year. Eli's sons are wanton and disobedient. Yet Hannah brings Samuel to Eli. The key I think is that she gives Samuel not to Eli but to God. She entrusts him to God. I had written something in my Bible at this part that really struck me and was my gateway to greater faith and light today. I wrote, "God takes care of His own property." Samuel became God's property when Hannah devoted him to the Lord.

Who am I to think that I have that much control over the fate of my children? I have tremendous influence, yes, but I am not God. Thankfully, praise God, He takes the influence I have and molds it and uses it for each child's needs. And if I continually surrender them to God and they're truly His, He will take care of His own.

GOD, OUR EVERYTHING

From the hymn, "O Worship the King", comes this line -

Our Maker, Defender, Redeemer and Friend.

That line hit me this morning. I'm glad, because not much was penetrating this distracted heart of mine this morning in worship. Some days are just like that. Had I not taken the time to prepare my heart beforehand? Probably, since I stayed up late the previous night and was reading Runner's World in the car on the way to church. So let me stay with this line for a while, meditating on its significance...

Our Maker - "And God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them." Genesis 1:27 "For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made..." Psalm 139:13-14

Our Defender - "The Lord will fight for you while you keep silent." Exodus 14:14 "Who will bring a charge against God's elect? God is the one who justifies; who is the one who condemns?" Romans 8:33-34

Our Redeemer - "I have wiped out your transgressions like a thick cloud, and your sins like a heavy mist. Return to Me, for I have redeemed you." Isaiah 44:22 "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine!" Isaiah 43:1

Our Friend - "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13 "...and the Scripture was fulfilled which says, 'And Abraham believed God, and it was reckoned to him as righteousness,' and he was called the friend of God." James 2:23

MERCIFUL FOREKNOWLEDGE

Deuteronomy 5:29 -
God says, "Oh that they had such a mind as this always, to fear me and to keep all my commandments, that it might go well with them and with their descendants forever!"

Here is the desire of God for their genuine obedience and devotion to Him so that it might go well with them. God hears their words of commitment but knows the deceitfulness of their hearts. And even though He knows the end (just as Christ knew He would raise Lazarus and yet wept anyway) this does not leave God cold and academic. He has feelings! He does! There is a passion in this verse. A passion for His people to have the best - which is to obey Him and know Him and be satisfied forever with Him. God knows their hearts and yet prepares the best for them. The land of Canaan will be prepared for them before they enter in. Chapter 6 says they will enter a land that already has houses, cities, vineyards, and olive trees. It reminds me of John 14 where Jesus tells His disciples that He goes to prepare a place for them in heaven.

What mercy and grace. He knows their stubborn natures the past 40 years in the wilderness and He knows their future disobedience and idolatry, and yet...He pours out blessing.

IT'S ALL CHRIST

"We can never obligate God by our obedience or sacrificial service." Jerry Bridges

As if those things weren't due Him already. For, "To the Lord your God belong the heavens, even the highest heavens, the earth and everything in it." Deuteronomy 10:14

So, because of Christ, why get hung up on what our sins or service might earn us? Our sins have been washed away and God's wrath has been satisfied. We are His workmanship united to Him and called to bear fruit. It's all Christ.

FOR MY MOM

My mom sent me an email the other day about how I haven't been posting on my blog. Yes, it's been pretty bleak here because I've spent most of my online time on Facebook. It's been neat to see how many other blogging friends of mine are on Facebook and it's been a neat way to keep in touch. But since my mother is not on Facebook (yet!) I decided to give her a post here on my blog. Let me update any of you who still read my blog on what I've been doing lately and what I've been thinking about.

My husband and I took on the ING Georgia Half Marathon on March 29th. We weren't originally going to do a half-marathon until this coming October but a friend convinced us to do this one. We were both very pleased with our experiences and our times. My husband blew his projected time out of the water by running a 2:01. That's more than 10 minutes faster than what he thought he could do. I ran a 2:23 which is great for me considering I thought I could do a 2:30. I didn't have any of the typical problems runners often have when running a long distance (i.e. bathroom issues, throwing up) so I was very pleased. It was funny to see how many people were lined up at the porta potty early into the race. We're set to run the Peachtree on July 4th and my husband's qualified for one of the groups in the front. That's good considering there are over 50,000 runners doing the race. Hopefully I'll be in the front half of the group as well even though I didn't run nearly as fast in our qualifying race.

I came across a wonderful musician several months ago while I was listening to NPR. Her name is Simone Dinnerstein and she was being interviewed about her new recording of the Bach Goldberg Variations. I was interested enough to purchase the whole album on iTunes and I've been listening to her playing almost every time I turn on my iPod. If you want to watch an interview with her, you can go to this link. Bach's music is so ordered and clean. Whenever I get overwhelmed with whatever is going on in my life, I put on this recording and it suddenly brings peace and serenity to my mind.

I've been reading through Leviticus and Numbers lately and having a hard time understanding everything written there. Gee, that's a surprise. Who else has ever started reading through the Bible and gotten stuck in Leviticus? I was thinking and meditating on those books this morning while I was ironing. It's amazing how clearly I can think while ironing. While I didn't receive any grand revelations about the meaning of these books and all the laws and sacrifices, I was able to step back and think about the overall issues God addresses in the books. God says in Leviticus, "Be holy for I am holy." He had chosen Israel for Himself and His desire was for them to be separate and distinct. All of the laws and sacrifices are an illustration of how holy God really is. He can not allow any sin in His presence. Those same laws and sacrifices are also an illustration of how sinful we are compared to God's holiness. God's desire for His creation in the beginning was for them to stay pure and set apart. Because of Adam's sin we have been polluted along with the creation around us (see Romans 5 and 8). Starting with Israel being set apart and going through Christ's sacrifice on the cross for sin, we can see God's desire to ultimately destroy sin and do away with it. I was encouraged by thinking about this and reflecting on passages in the last book of the Bible, Revelation, where we see the ultimate end of sin, death and Satan - they are all thrown into the lake of fire in the final judgment. (Revelation 21) I know these are intense subjects to think about, but having this broader perspective while reading Leviticus and Numbers will be helpful to me I think. Plus, the most amazing thing is this - "For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to everyone who believes." Romans 10:4 And, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit." Romans 8:1-4

I hope you all are well. If you're on Facebook and you haven't already friended me, I'd love to connect! Blessings!

DON'T WASTE YOUR FACEBOOK...

If you're familiar with John Piper's ministry, Desiring God, you may have heard about a "sister" ministry of theirs called Don't Waste Your Life. Ever since I started on Facebook, I've been concerned about just wasting time on it. It's too easy to just surf around or play games. Just waste time. So I just wrote a note and posted it to my profile. If anyone comes to visit they will see an explanation of my testimony and how I came to know Jesus Christ. A lot of people on Facebook have hundreds of friends. I don't have a lot but of the over 100 friends I do have, I know some of them don't know Christ. I don't want to waste an opportunity to tell them about the most important thing in my life. It's too easy to talk about trivial things. Maybe someone else has an idea for not wasting their Facebook space. Please share. And "friend" me if you haven't already done so.

Blessings.

BOTHERED BY GENESIS

I've been reading through Genesis since the beginning of the year. I'm sure it's been a popular thing to do lately. Every time I get to the beginning of the story of Abraham I start feeling a certain rankling in my soul. I cringe at his lies about Sarah being his sister. Then Isaac and Rebekah with Jacob and Esau. The scheming and favoritism. Jacob runs away and marries Rachel and Leah. The favoritism and competition continues between the wives. "Why are you blessing this Lord?" I ask. "They are totally messing up here!" After thinking on this for a while, my perspective has shifted. It's not about what they did or did not do. God is the one who chose them. God is the one who called them. He is the faithful one. My focus has always been on the people God chose who continue to mess things up. Nothing is different when I look at my own life. I mess up. I have done nothing to deserve the blessings I have received. I need to shift the perspective I have on my own life too. Charles Spurgeon said this on June 28 in his devotional, Morning and Evening --

"We will never find happiness by looking at our prayers, our deeds, or our feelings; it is what Jesus is, not what we are, that gives rest to the soul."